I'm Baaaack!

Ha! Bet you ALL thought you were rid of me! Well, guess again! It has been a long hard hiatus. I left this blog behind due to some personal issues. But in my absence, I have come to realize this is probably the best therapy for me. And I am in GREAT need of therapy right now!

In the last year, life has bit me off, chewed me up, and spit me back out again. I have talked before on here about my issues with depression. My Beloved Papa (my mother's father) died at the age of 80 back in June. Papa was more than just a grandfather to me. He was a second father. I have never dealt with death before. Not of someone I was so close to. He had been sick for a long time and had many health issues. In the end, he CHOSE to leave this world behind. He was on dialysis and he decided he was tired and wanted to stop. It was a testament to how worn out his body was because he made the decision to stop on Wednesday and was gone by Friday. I had the honor of feeding him his last dessert. I know it sounds silly, but I was so grateful for that moment. By Thursday, he was out of it and never really came back.

I didn't fall apart until a week after he died. I was not on my medicine (yes I know) and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I hid from the world. I started reading. I read between 40 and 45 books in a matter of two months! Not healthy. I couldn't sleep so I read. I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts because they always wandered to Papa. I went back on my medicine, but it wasn't enough. I went to the doctor, he switched to another, I got WAAAAY worse! Finally, we got me on the right medicine. I feel halfway normal again. I still hurt. I still cry. I still miss him. But at least I am becoming more of the old Aileigh. Carefree and fun... :)